Still here guys, same old me. I've recently been hacked and lost my entire youtube channel. The one called Darkjet Productions. Tried my best to contact support but to no avail so far. I had it changed to a brand channel, so losing the email made the videos disappear somehow? Well, I guess they still exist, I have access to the channel but all the videos are labeled "private".
So they're there somewhere, I suppose.
Well, I was able to keep some of it, new upload of more backed up videos found too.
But, man I lost a lot, nearly 10 years of just dumb reckless action filmaking with my friends.Was really enthusiastic about everything back in the day. I'm kind of broken... You could keep up with some things I upload on this channel. But most of it is just personal stuff between family and friends. I also have this secondary channel which I just post gags to friends and some funny edits or whatever, personal stuff too...
Now everything's different, I'm not emotionally stable to begin with. I go through anxiety, especially due to this recent hacking. I lost some friends, almost literally lost one at some point, kept a few. Lost a few opportunities with girls, job opportunities... I dunno. I'm kind of tired. I feel like I don't make much progress on much anymore. I also apologize for my deviant art folks about me trying to make a Chun-li X Ryu animation sometime, but never finishing it. Read about my last DeviantArt post.
Man, I had a bad time dealing with my nostalgic feeling and all of the burning fire for life I used to have as a kid, even for stupid things. I grow emotional when revisiting this blog. The only real care I have now is for my family, just fantacizing about suddenly waking up somehow still being in 2004.
I've recently went through one of this blog's old posts of me cooking up something with a friend of ours, of our family. I should've been about 12 years old. You can find this post here.
Then I found one of my first animations ever on the old Windows XP pivot software on this other post.
Even some of the old youtube funnies have come back from their grave for me to watch them like this one.
Lastly I talked again to a close friend regarding one of our first ever "vfx-like video". Done in the good old windows movie maker heh.
Now I'm paranoid about computer viruses (not a virus, rlx) because of losing my account, and I'm never downloading anything pirated again... But coming to what I have left just makes me sad, but in a nice nostalgic melancholic way. Like I appreciate more what I used to have.
A lot of things have changed, and I do not have the impulse to live, improve and experience I once had... Back in the US, when I learned English and learned the rough life by being bullied on Elementary school, I actually came back well from that... Having fun with my cousin making stupid websites, cooking, binge posting about Sonic, Megaman, Minecraft, Anime, Beatbox videos and some occational Godly aspirations lol. Well, no more linking to old blog posts, this isn't the biggest blog in the world, I'm sure you can find them yourself lol. But not only internet life, everyone used to smile a bit more, there was always something grabbing the attention of my eye, always some pure innocent longing for being with someone I like rather than trying to rationalize every single thing I do so I understand or fit in to what this world has become to me. It was just natural, no need to open my third eye somehow, the magic was just there... And slowly faded away.
But I guess I can recognize what was better about me back then, mostly at least. Just wishing everything was back the way it was. Truth is I don't know what to do. I've become partially an artist/animator/video editor for some gigs but I don't feel hyped for my personal projects or work itself for that matter. Maybe I'll just do something else entirely, just for the cash.
Good old Tobey, man even the movies were better back then. Feels like everything was better. Megaman is just microtransaction nonsense with that X-dive game, Sonic has a game every 5 years, Youtube content creators aren't as fun, whatever is related to pop is plain garbage... Perhaps the culture just changed and I stayed behind. I got overweight since I stayed home for too long these years and didn't grow as tall as I expected either.
I can hope to try to save whatever strength is left in me, or if God can lend me his.
Well, to end on a positive note, Mateusz Skutnik might be releasing the entire Submachine games collection on Steam soon. For those of you who don't know, yes, I used to be the typical 2000s kid browsing around the internet, newgrounds, miniclip, and buying flash games cds from back in the day. This is one of the ones I played and that used to inspire me somehow.
Well, maybe I'll post something every
now and then about how I'm doing, whoever is still listening that is.
Maybe it's more of a personal diary than anything :/
